


The Shoes We Fill

by IncSpids



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers Endgame, Basically a lot of pain, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, I'm really sorry, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Carol Danvers, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Peter Parker, sorry author cant tag, the young ones are in deep shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 06:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20403511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncSpids/pseuds/IncSpids
Summary: "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending"~AnonymousThe big six. Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov and Thor. Now only Natasha and Thor stand after Thanos' snap. She does her part, along side Rhodey, in leading the younger avengers through they're missions. She's found family in the new avengers, but she cant help but think about her old family. Natasha gave up on getting them back long ago, ever since Thanos snapped again and destroyed the stones. It isn't until Scott Lang comes stumbling into the compound at three a.m that she knows, they have a chance. A chance to bring them all back.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending"~Anonymous

Steve quickly sprints up to the asguardian. “Thor? What’s happening? Where is he? Thor, where is-”

The god turns and cuts him off. “This… this is my fault.” Thor, in a fit of rage, tosses his axe-like weapon haphazardly to the side and it sinks itself into a tree.

“Thor?!”, Steve moves to comfort his friend but stops as his hand suddenly goes numb. “Where did- oh god.”

Just then, Bucky comes bursting out of the trees. He catches Steve’s eyes and his heart sink. “Steve?”

His friend reaches out for him, but his arm crumbles into dust. “Stevie, no no no I can’t lose you. What’s happening?!”

“Captain.. Dear friend please-”

Thor’s hand swipes through nothing but dust. The god sinks to his knees. 

“What have I done…”

Bucky falls next to the fresh pile of ash. With his human hand, he shakily touches the pile. His gut wretches into a knot as sobs wrack his being.

Thor can only watch the ex-assassin. Whispering, almost unintelligibly, “I’m sorry..”

~~~~~~

“Something is happening…”, Mantis turns to Drax, face filled only with pure fear. Then she’s gone.

“Quill…”, Drax turns to his only other friend and his heart sinks as he watches flakes float away from Quill’s skin. But before he can grab onto his friend, he too turns to ash.

Panic rises in Tony’s stomach as he realizes what’s happened. “Steady Quill.”

Quill looks down at his hands, flaking away into non-existence. “Aw man…”. And with that, he’s gone.

Tony turns to Strange with hopes of an answer, but his fears are met as he watches the wizard begin to grow fuzzy. “Tony”, Strange sighs, obviously prepared to say more but knowing he was out of time, “there was no other way…”

Tony turns away before he can watch the man’s face disappear. Suddenly, Tony’s stomach begins to feel weightless. Knowing what’s coming, he quickly grabs onto Peter, pulling him into the biggest hug he could give.

The boy, no, his kid whispers. “Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark are you okay?”

Damn, Spider-sense. Tony only smiles and hold onto his kid as tight as he can, until his arms fade away.  
“It’s alright kid. We’ll be alright…”

Upon realizing what was happening, Peter buried his head into what remained of his mentor’s chest. No, not his mentor. His dad.

“No.. no no no Mr. Stark, please! Please don’t leave me..”

Peter can only register the kiss Tony places on his head, then suddenly, he’s gone. Peter sinks to his knees, only able to feel the ash that covers his body. The ashes of his father. His lip wobbles as he realizes that Tony had felt the same way, like they were father and son.

Nebula watches the child cry over his lost family. She gently reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder. She sighs, knowing what she will say is cold, but necessary. “He did it. Now, they.. they’re gone child… we need to leave.”

~~

T’Challa reaches out to his general, relieved that she’s still alive (though he had little doubt she wouldn’t be). “General!”

Okoye looks to her king and smiles. He’s grown up to be such a great king, and she couldn’t have been happier to be by his side.

Retracting his mask, he smiles and extends his hand. “This is no place to die…”

And suddenly he’s gone. Okoye blinks, realizing he was no longer in front of her. She swipes her hand through the air to catch the ashes falling to the ground. In horror, she realizes her king is dead.

“My king...”

~~

Bruce disengages the Hulkbuster armor and runs to his friends. “What is this? What the hell is happening?! I can’t find a single person!”

Rhodey turns to Bruce, only momentarily pulling his hand off of the sobbing girl. But before he can reply, Natasha appears through the trees.

“I don’t.. Oh god, Wanda, I’m sorry... Rhodey is that-”

“Vis? Yeah. Thanos he-”

“G-Guys? Nat...”

Bruce meets Natasha’s eyes. She moves to see what’s wrong, but he disintegrates before her eyes. Her hand, frozen stretching towards the man she loved, begins to shake.

Rhodey flips up his mask. “Bruce... what- what the hell?! Where did-”

Suddenly, Wanda speaks up. “Thanos snapped. Where- where are the others?”

Natasha turns to Rhodey and grabs his shoulders. “Rhodey, where’s Steve? Or the raccoon? Or the tree? Or- or Tony-”

“NAT I DON’T-“, Rhodey sighs, “I- I don’t know.. I don’t know either.”

~~

Scott taps on his comms. “Hope? Hope are you there?”

It takes a moment, but then the comm crackles.

“Y-yeah I… Scott something’s happening. Mom and dad… they- I’m pulling you out of there NOW!”

~~

A small purple alien shakes Carol’s hand with on of it’s tentacles. “Thank you for saving us, Captain! You are our hero!”

Carol smiles back at the little alien.

“We wish you…”, and suddenly it’s gone.

Carol blinks, “The- The hell? What just happened?”

And suddenly, the alien plaza erupted in chaos. The small alien creatures began disappearing rapidly.

“Captain Marvel, please! Save us!”

She can only take a step back, “I can’t- what the-”

“Snivak! Come back!”

“Dorfa.. Dorfa where did you go?!”

“Mommy? Daddy?”

“Captain Marvel please!”

“Save them!”

“Please!”

Carol quickly shoots up into the air to scan the crowd. Ash piles scatter the grounds and he stomach churns. “I- I- I can’t- I can’t help you I don’t-”.

Suddenly, her emergency communicator goes off. She frantically pulls open her pocket and hold the ancient device. “Fury?”, her heart sinks as she realizes that what just happened wasn’t contained to the small alien planet. “Fury.”

A little orange alien brings her attention back to the planet by pulling on her leg. “Please Captain Marvel!”

She regretfully pulls her foot away from the alien and shakes her head. “I need to go. I’ll- I’ll be back. I promise.”

~~

“Come on you two! Enough practice! Soup’s on!”

Clint dramatically rolls his eyes. “Alright honey! We’re comin’!”

The ex-avenger smiles at his daughter. “Alright kiddo. Go get the arrows and...” he watches as his hand crumbles away. “What the- honey…”, and he’s gone.

Lila drops her bow. “Dad? DAD?!”

Laura, who had watched as her husband faded out of existence, drops the spatula. “Oh god..”, panic fills her as a fuzzy sensation crawls across her skin. “Clint...”

She quickly panics as she watches Cooper disappear too. Lila! Nate! Please…”, and then she’s gone.

Lila bites her fist as she backs away towards their house. Until she sees little Nate standing alone by the grill. He turns to her, big brown eyes and all. “Sissy?” And then he too is gone.

She sinks to her knees. “No..”

Her phone falls out of her pocket, but she doesn’t even reach for it. Instead, she reaches for her father’s bow. With shaking hands, she brings it to her chest.


	2. When I Drift Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this too so long! Lots of stuff has gone down but it’s here! I really hope you enjoy!

If you had asked Peter a year ago where he would be today, he might’ve said something along the lines of dead in an alley. Or maybe, on a lighter note, hanging out with the AcaDeca team and MJ. Or leading the Avengers! He certainly would  _ not  _ have said floating aimlessly in space.

They’ve been on the Milano for a little over six days... probably. Time is a weird concept. Especially when you have nothing but the never-ending black abyss out the window and an angry blue woman to keep you company. Though, when it comes to sleep, Peter knows the exact amount he’s gotten.

None.

He's tried, honestly! But his brain seems to have decided that sleep is no longer an option. Trauma can do that to someone. Peter thinks he should be used to it by now. What with losing his parents, Uncle Ben, and now…  _ he should be used to it _ .

But he isn’t. He isn’t used to the nights that end with him screaming himself awake in a fit of tears. He isn’t used to Nebula shaking him from his daze. He isn’t used to the half an hour of shaking and sobbing with nobody to familiar to cling to. He isn’t used to the agonizing pain that takes over his body when his senses overload after crying.

_ He isn’t used to anything anymore. _

The nightmares never change. They always begin on Titan. Always.

Tony always appears in front of him, then crumbles to dust as Peter clings to him. Because he  _ can’t _ lose him too. He  _ won’t _ . But then Tony is gone, and Peter has to scramble to keep his ment- his father’s ashes from blowing away. Just as Peter gathers them all to mourn, he’s gone.

Then somehow he’s back on Earth, outside of his and May’s apartment. As soon as he opens the door he kicks over a pile of dust. He kicks over  _ his aunt _ . His Aunt May, the strong and beautiful woman that raised him when the world seemed determined to end them, reduced to a pile of ash on the carpet. 

And, of course, just before he startles awake, Ben shows up. Never in his life had Peter ever seen Ben scream at someone. Now he sees it every night. He reminds Peter of what a disappointment he is. How Tony should be  _ alive _ . How  _ Peter _ should be dead. How it was  _ Peter’s _ fault for not getting the gauntlet from Thanos. 

Then, without fail, he wakes up and cries with the blue space assassin woman until he falls back into unconsciousness. Then it starts all over again.

Nebua, for being a space assassin, isn't nearly as scary as she says she is. She's helped him through his nightmares, cleaned up his wounds, and has always given him the better rations. Alternatively, he's tried helping her feel… alive. Less machine, more… being? It was obviously hard at first. She would instantly close herself off and move away from him. Telling him to “mind your own business, unless you like being headless”.

So, you might ask, how has a sixteen-year-old mutant earthling managed to humanize one of the most dangerous women in the entire galaxy? The answer is simple: Paper Football.

"Wraa!!" Nebula growls, her metal hand curling into a fist. Her other hand grips her water glass until it groans under the pressure.

Peter, who’s spider sense had spiked, smiles lightly and picks up the small paper triangle. "It's cool Ms. Nebula! This game is kind of hard. My friend Ned and I play this aaaall the time when we get bored. So I'm basically, like, an expert." He hands her the paper football again and positions his fingers in the shape of a field goal.

Nebula flicks the paper, but it veers to the right. She shows nearly no weakness, but folds and nervously bites her lip. Peter can see she’s expecting… something. Punishment? Probably. Honestly he isn’t too surprised, unfortunately, considering who her dad is. "I would like to try again." She mumbles.

Peter smiles a little wider and picks up the paper triangle. He quickly fixes one of the corners then hands it back to her. "Yeah go ahead!"

Nebula takes it, she nervously eyes Peter but quickly buries her nervousness. A new determination grows and she flicks it. It sails through the finger goal, and Peter could swear that her eyes grew 3x bigger. He lets out a surprised laugh and leans back with his arms up. "Oh my Thor! Ms. Nebula you won!"

It takes a second for her to process it, but once Nebula realizes what he’s said her mouth twitches up into a near smile. Though she never does smile, Peter can tell how happy she is when she finally lets out a breath. "This was… fun."

Peter rests his elbows on the table and moves his hands around excitedly as he speaks. "Yeah, it's really good to help pass the time! I’ve never played with someone as good as you! And I’ve played this, like, a whole bunch. Mr. Stark and I…” Peter pauses. The black pit in his chest suddenly grows larger, “We uhm.. used to play it. A lot."

Both of their smiles fade as the weight of Peter’s words set in. They sit in an awkward silence, each finding something else to look at, before Peter speaks up again. "Ms. Nebula… how long do you think we'll be here?"

Nebula shuts her eyes, refusing to look at him, and breathes sharply out her nose. "Do not call me Ms. Nebula. Also…” She sighs “ I am not sure. The fuel is running out, fast. One of the processors is acting up and… food is getting low."

Peter nods solemnly and turns to the window. Basically, they have two options. Either shoot straight to earth in a shitty ship and hope they don't die. Or go to the nearest planet and hope the aliens there aren't hostile. So, in all reality, they’re doomed. He runs his fingers through his curls and sighs.  _ ‘Oh Thor, I  _ so _ need a shower.’ _

He looks down at his web-shooters. He presses a small button and a little web-cartridge pops out. Peter puts a hand over his mouth and tries to hold back his tears. The ashes in the cartridge spin as he turns it in his fingers. _ 'What would Mr. Stark do?' _

* * *

If you had asked Peter three days ago where he would be today he probably would have said dying. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t have been wrong.

Peter winces as he shifts against the wall. He takes a deep, bone rattling breath, and shuts his eyes. Never in a million years had he thought  _ this _ is how he would go. He knew being Spiderman would most likely catch up to him someday. He’d bleed out in an alley or be kidnapped by some psycho. Which, now that he thinks about it, is pretty gruesome. Though, slowly fading out billions of miles from home in a spaceship with a blue robot woman isn’t much better. It sounds like something straight out of Star Wars. Ned would be  _ so _ jealous.

Well, not of Peter dying. That’s kind of an issue. A big issue. 

Though, he can’t say it was unexpected. Both he and Nebula knew he might not make it to Earth. When Nebula finally announced that the fuel had run out, as well as the food, he knew he was screwed. But now, as they float aimlessly through space, all he can think about is May.

He never did give her a proper goodbye all those days (weeks?) ago. If only he could hug her again, and smell her sweet honey scent, and tell her he loves her over and over until he passes out from lack of oxygen. And he will, as soon as they get home. If she’s even still around. If Peter even makes it that long. Suddenly, he gets an idea.

Peter drags his tongue across his cracked lips and gives a small sigh, then activates his nanite mask. He hasn’t activated it since… well, it’s been a while. So, as he focuses on the nanites forming over his face, it’s slightly startling when Karen speaks. “Hello Peter. Your vitals seem extremely low. Shall I engage in Tattletale Protocol?”

Peter bites his upper lip. There’s no tears to hold back anymore, so he can’t cry no matter how much he wants to. He’s been in so much agony that he doesn’t even remember when the tears just stopped flowing. 

Ever since the shut down, every fiber in his bones had throbbed from malnutrition and hunger. Now his skin hangs limp where once youthful and strong muscles had been. Peter knows his healing can do nothing to help either. If anything, it’s making it worse. Though, with every stabbing pain, he’s reminded that the hole in his heart where he’d held Mr. Stark aches even more.

“No Karen,” he rattles out another shaky breath then continues, “I- I don’t think Mr. Stark will be able to ah… to answer right now. You know what would be really… really awesome though?”

The A.I. is silent for a moment then, in a somehow more solemn tone, “I can do anything you wish Peter. Please proceed.”

“Could you.. Could you please start a voice recording?”

“Of course Peter.” I takes a second, then a small flashing light appears in the array of holograms in front of his eyes. Peter licks his lips again and rests his head back against the wall.

“You may begin Peter.”

“Oh uhm.. okay... Hey May. I know you ah- you’re most likely searching the world for me right now. Making sure I’m not… you know..  _ gone _ . Well, I mean, that’s as long as you’re still around I guess. If you find this then, um, just know that I love you. So much. And uhm.. Please tell Ned that I love him too… he- he’s my best friend and I wouldn’t be here without him. I love you both so.. So much. More than anything. Oh! And MJ too. I never got to tell her to her face but… I love her too. Anyways… I guess this is goodbye.” Peter pauses and takes another rattled breath. “When I drift off, I’ll think of you guys. It’s always you guys.”

Peter sniffles. As he moves to sit up a cough racks his small frame. His back slams against the wall as he tries to sit up. “Karen uh… can you- can you end it? The um… the recording.”

The blinking light suddenly disappears and the mask retracts. Peter’s vision grows spotty while his eyes readjust to the dim emergency lights. His starts swimming as the world tips sideways, and then, he’s floating. Like a puppet having its strings cut, he lists sideways limplessly. Before he can hit the ground, metallic hands gently catch him by the shoulders. He’s propped back upright and a cold finger brushes a curl away from his eyes. His vision clears slightly and Nebula’s worried face softens as she realizes he recognizes her..

She gives him a small squeeze on the shoulder, and smiles. “It is okay Peter. I know you’re tired.”

Peter gives her the best smile he can muster. She runs a hand through his hair and then puts her arms under him. She easily lifts him into the air and carries him across the ship. Nebula gently places him in Quill’s Captain Chair and makes sure he’s comfortable. As soon as she is satisfied, she goes back to the main area. Nebula begins working on… who knows what. Though, honestly, Peter really couldn’t care less.

Everything just feels… floaty. Is that a word? FlOatyyy. It’s a funny word. 

His eyes are floaty now too. So, so floaty… 

They’re floating away! Up and up… and up. They’re going somewhere dark.

Peter really doesn’t like the dark.

Maybe the bright lady in the window can save his eyes before they float away. He really needs his eyes back… 

Maybe they’ll come back… 

When he wakes up…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder. If you’re reading this, I love you.


	3. I’m Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So so so very sorry this took so long. I had some family emergencies recently and haven’t had the energy to write. But! I finally kicked myself and said just write it. So here you go!
> 
> Enjoy!

Harold Joseph Hogan is nicknamed “Happy” for a reason. Mainly because Tony thought it would be ironic. And right now? He’s living up to the irony of his pseudo. In short, he’s pissed.

A few weeks ago, when Happy had gotten word that Tony and Peter disappeared into the sky on a giant alien donut, he cursed about two dozen times on his way to the kid’s apartment. He had known May would be distraught, so he’d approached the door carefully. But, before he could even knock on the door, May had already grabbed him by the suit and yanked him inside with Hulk-like strength. Within two seconds he had gone from standing at the door, waiting to console a distraught aunt, to being shoved onto the couch with an accusing finger in his face. 

Her rant had lasted about ten minutes before she finally slumped onto the couch beside him. With her anger finally mellowed out, she had started thinking. Happy can still picture the moment May’s eyes suddenly flooded with pure panic and when they only grew wider as the realization of her greatest fear set in. She could be the last of the Parker family. 

Happy could never have even begun to comprehend the amount of stress that May must have carried with her every day. Happy could only console her after that, and assure her that Peter would be fine as long as he stayed with Tony. They had spent nearly an hour together as Happy continued reassuring her that they would come home. Truth is, he hadn’t even been sure of it himself. But of course that’s not the kind of thing you tell a woman having a panic attack. Eventually, after some breathing exercises and reassuring words, she had calmed down enough to speak. 

Happy can distinctly remember the moment that everything went to hell.

May had taken off her glasses so she could cry, and after she was finally calm, she had started cleaning them off on her shirt. The moment she turned to ask him a question, her face paled.

“Happy…”

Then she turned to ash.

Happy remembers the way his chest had tightened, frozen in place for nearly thirty minutes as he stared at the new pile of ash on the couch next to him. He remembers the way his hands were violently shaking as he reached over the pile of ash to grab May’s glasses. He had tucked them away in his pocket, then everything went blank and suddenly he was next to his car.

Ash had been.. everywhere. The street in front of the apartments was turned grey, ash flying in the air as an abandoned car had skidded down the street. Happy had quickly hopped in his car (and ignored the fact that there was a ticket, police helmet, and ash on the front of his car) and drove as fast as he could towards the Avengers Compound.

Happy shakes his head and returns to the present, continuing to barrel through the giant hallways of the superhero facility. He pointedly ignores the MIA reports scrolling across the screens in the common room, featuring many of his friends’ faces.

Happy whips out his cellphone and prepares to call Rhodey when the building suddenly begins to shake. It only starts as a small tremor, but slowly becomes more and more violent. The security guard slightly stumbles towards the wall with a gasp. As soon as the tremors ease up, he rights himself and sprints towards the briefing room. Quickly, he rounds the corner and takes off down another hallway.

He finally reaches the briefing room. He instantly flings open the door only to find… nothing.

“Dammit, Rhodey.”

Happy huffs and turns to go back to the common room, then pauses. Dust from the rafters slowly swirls in front of his face. Happy slowly glances up at the ceiling before his instincts kick in, but he can only take two steps before the building begins quaking again. He quickly braces himself on the wall but loses his balance, falling to a knee. In seconds he's back on his feet and stumbling towards the doors leading to the courtyard. Happy shoves open one of the doors and throws himself outside before it slams shut.

He squints up at the sky, vibrant light assaults his eyes as he tries to catch a glimpse of the glowing… thing. He spots Rhodey and Natasha and resists the urge to roll his eyes. Happy gets to his feet and slowly makes his way towards the blurry figures standing on the lawn.

As he moves closer (and the glow finally begins to fade) he realizes that it’s a giant ship. Carried by none other than Captain Marvel herself. Happy stops beside Rhodey, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. The colonel turns to him with and ‘eat shit’ grin. “You’re late.”

Slightly out of breath, Happy laughs.“I thought -hah- I thought you said this was an emergency? Next time… just tell me when Carol visits, ‘kay?”

Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head as pats his friend on the back. “Happy, she’s not just visiting. I think-”

“Think?? What?”

Suddenly, the air around them seemed to grow heavier. Rhodey pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek and sighs. “She might’ve found them Hap.”

The bodyguard swiftly shifts his gaze to the ship. “You’re kidding!”, he turns back to Rhodey, “We’ve been searching all of the damn cosmos for Tony’s signal. How did she find them?”

Every bit of hope on Rhodey’s face is instantly extinguished. He bites his lip anxiously. “Hap, we don’t- we don’t know who all’s on the ship. But, Carol picked up a weird distress call on her alien tracking thingy. Once she got back in the solar system she called and said to be here-”

“Well, that has to be them! It’s just like Tony to-”

“-with a med team.”

Happy freezes. The med teams are only called on when something is very, very wrong. He shifts his gaze back to the ship with a new sense of worry.

Carol finally sets the ship on the lawn and descends to the ground. Instead of her usual sarcastic comment, she sprints to the front of the ship. She pounds on the hatch and a small staircase suddenly emerges. In seconds she’s already shot up the stairs and into the ship. Happy and Rhodey share a glance, then both make their way towards the ship, following Natasha as she quickly starts up the stairs. 

Then, the former russian spy freezes. “Oh.. oh no..”. She then turns and sprints back to the compound.

That’s the moment both men realize that something is very, very wrong.

Suddenly, a blue woman pokes her head out of the hatch. “Where is the medical assistance? Which of you is closest to him?”

Rhodey clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “The med team will be here soon, eta three minutes. And well, Pepper isn’t here so I’d be the closest to Tones. I-”

“I know not of this ‘Tones’ you speak of. I mean Peter. The spider child.”

Happy’s entire world suddenly comes to a halt. Peter is alive, thank Thor. But he needs medical assistance which is very, very bad. And tony… if the blue lady doesn’t even know who he is then that means...

Rhodey slowly turns to Happy, all brightness in the man’s face depleted. He can sense the man is about to cry, but Rhodey keeps his voice strong. “Hap.. Hap none of us know the kid as well as you do.”

The metaphorical stone in Happy’s stomach suddenly grows ten times larger. He glances down to make sure his feet aren’t actually rooted into the ground. He manages to push aside his panic to nod. Every step he takes towards the ship fills him with even more dread.

As he finally steps through the entrance to the hatch, he nearly gags. The entire ship smells like a sweaty sock that’s been sitting under a teenager’s bed for years. He plugs his nose and makes a slight gagging noise, then finally connects the dots.

“Oh kid…”

Happy moves further into the ship. He steps over several paper footballs and little gadgets, but picks up his pace once he spots the “I am Ironman” pin that Tony had given the kid as a gift for “not letting his raging teenage hormones take control during battle”. Peter had once nervously told Happy in the car on the way to the compound that he never took it off, and to never let Mr. Stark know that. Of course he’d told Tony and, of course, the billionaire hadn’t stopped smiling for days. Which made the fact that the pin is now lying discarded on the ground, even more worrying.

Happy finally spotted Carol and the blue woman. Everything felt too slow, like the entire world was stuck in marmalade. He finally came to a stop just behind the blue woman, and time seemed to suddenly slow even more. His lungs stopped working as he realized what she was doing.

The blue woman was giving Peter CPR. Very, very bad CPR.

He taps her shoulder. She whips around with panicked eyes, but quickly composes herself. Happy moves to his knees. “Please, please move. I can help save him.”

The woman nods and moves away. Happy quickly takes her place. Positioning his hands over the kid’s chest, he takes a deep breath, then starts pumping.

10..

20…

30….

Breath

“Dammit kid you can’t quit on me now. Tony will kill me if you die.”

10..

20…

30….

Breath

“Come on kid, please…”

Then he’s graced with both the worst and best sound he’s ever heard.

Peter coughs. A little spit lands on Happy’s face but the man just ignores it. The kid’s eyes flutter open. “H.. H.. Hap... H‘ppy?”

A hand suddenly squeezes his shoulder. Happy glances up quickly to find Cho, in all her grace, with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. “Harold.. Let us take him. We’ll fix him. I promise.”

Happy quickly glances between Cho and Peter, and nods. He moves to the side, allowing her move next to the kid. She gently moves her gloved hands across his torso and head. She takes his pulse as two other doctors move him onto a stretcher.

“Peter… hey buddy it’s Mrs. Doctor Cho. We've done this a hundred times, remember. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.”

A small smile crosses Peter’s face. “Knees.. n’ toes.”

Cho gently runs her fingers across Peter’s scalp as he’s sped towards the med bay. “Good job Peter. How about, Eenie Meenie Miney Moe?”

“Tha’ ones haaard…”

“No it isn’t Petey,” Cho finally pulls up Peter’s stats from the suit, “keep talking buddy.”

“Catch.. um.. catcha hulk by ‘is toe”

“Very good, you’re doing great Peter.” 

Happy helps the doctors move the boy onto a bed. The bodyguard moves to Peter’s side and grabs one of hishands. Cho motions to him saying, ‘take it from here’. Happy nods and shifts to where Peter can see him. “This one is easy kid. What are the digits of pi?”

“Th’s e’y.. 3.1415.. 92653589.. 7.. 7..”

Happy shakes his head and rubs circles into the back Peter’s palm. “No, no focus kiddo. You’ve told me way more in the car. What comes next?”

“I c’nt Happy. S’ floaty…”

Cho gently pulls Happy away from the kid as several monitors start squealing. She leads him out of the room. “Don’t worry, we’ve got him Harold. He’ll be okay.”

“HE’S CRASHING.”

Cho gives Happy one last glance and a nod, then she closes the door.

Happy stands frozen outside the door. He doesn’t know how long he’s stood there, but the next thing he knows he’s sitting in the common room.

At some point he’d pulled out his phone. His finger hovering over the green icon. He hesitates to click it, because what the hell is he supposed to say?

With a sigh, he clicks it and brings the phone to his ear.

‘Come on Happy you’ve done this hundreds of times before. Keep it together, for Tony’s sake.’

Ring  
Ring

Ring  
Ring

Click

“Happy?”

Everything suddenly becomes too much hearing her voice. A single tear slides down his cheek, which opens the flood gates. Happy pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Um, yeah hey… you- you need to get to the compound.”

“Why? Harold what’s wrong?”

“Pep.. Pep you need to get here. Please.”

The other line is quiet for a moment. All he can hear are light shuffles and the clacking of heels.

“I’ll be there in forty.”

Then she hangs up.

Happy chucks his phone to the other side of the couch. Burying his head in his arms, he lets it all loose. Each sob grows louder and louder with every realization of what he’s lost.

Harold Joseph Hogan is nicknamed “Happy” for a reason. Once again, he’s proved exactly how ironic that name truly is as his sleeves become wet with tears. He’s so lost in his grief that he hardly even notices when Rhodey joins him on the couch. Or when the colonel’s sobs become loud enough to match his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams into the void*  
Sorry kiddos that was rough to write  
Don't worry though!  
Plenty more angst to come


	4. Missing You More

“Nat, are you still in here?”

Natasha stiffens, vigorously wiping away her tears before she turns towards the door. It swings open gently as Rhodey steps through with the grace only a man who’s truly lost everything could have. Or, you know, a guy in leg braces. 

She rubs her thumb across the corner of her eye and sniffles. She can’t, isn’t supposed to cry in front of others, she’s Natasha Romanoff. ‘There isn’t much I can do at this point’, she thinks grimly, because if the bags under her eyes don’t give her away then the tear stains will. 

Clearing her throat, she stands. “Yeah I’m.. I’m sorry Rhodey I’ll just head to bed. You need to be with him.”

She reaches for her jacket, heart sinking as she thinks about leaving the malnourished teen, but a soft hand on her shoulder makes her freeze. “Nat..”, Rhodey sighs, attempting to look her in the eye. Natasha shifts her gaze to the floor, unable to look her friend in the eye as the ever growing seed of panic plants itself in her heart. “Sit back down.”

Without a sound she sits back in the metal chair, focusing her gaze on a random floor tile in the opposite direction of Rhodey. While continuing to gnaw at her cheek she closes her eyes.  
Ever since she’d seen sixteen-year-old Peter Parker lying on the floor of an alien ship half-dead and completely delirious, only hours ago, she’d sworn not to leave his side until he was back at 100%. The kid is one of the few things that can make her emotional dam, built up by years of espionage and training, crumble as if it were made of nothing. Someone like that was hard to find. Especially now that nearly every person that had ever breached her hard exterior had been reduced to ashes. Stripped from her life by a power-hungry, maniacal, good-for-nothing, purple ballsack-chinned alien with a god complex.

She exhausts every ounce of willpower to finally look at Rhodey. As soon as she meets his concerned eyes she smiles. Well, it’s less of a smile, more of a twitch. She doesn’t think she’ll be truly smiling for a long, long time.

Rhodey scans her, as if he can read her mind with a single glance. He gives her a sad smile, placing his hand on her knee while rubbing small circles with his thumb. “Natasha”, he sighs, “it’s okay. You’re allowed to feel. And don’t give me that shit about ‘spies don’t cry’. I know how you get and you can’t keep this all to yourself. You’re family Nat. You should never have to hide these things, and you’re not going to. Not now, not ever again. You can talk to me.”

Without warning, her damn breaks. Her mental wall cracks just enough to let a stream of emotions pour out. Which is all it takes for the damn to burst. Tears gently flow down her cheeks as she grits her teeth. “He’s… Peter… he’s just a kid Rhodey. He shouldn’t have…”

Rhodey’s arms pull her to his chest in an embrace. She buries her forehead into his shoulder as the tears flow faster. She hiccups, lip wobbling as she tries (and fails) to keep it together. They sit in the same position for nearly an hour before Natasha can finally find the strength to reel herself back in. As if the pieces of her mental damn are slowly moving back into place. She gently pushes away from Rhodey’s chest with a sniffle.

Nat wipes her eyes to fondly stare at the curly brown-haired spider-child in the hospital bed. She hadn’t known him for long, didn’t have to, but she truly cared for him. Luckily he only needed a truckload of nutrients and rest. Well, plus a few stitches. Though, all in all, he was fine. After a small but wet laugh she half-smiles. “You know, I wasn’t even supposed to meet him. Hell, who knows what would have happened if Tony had found out I’d grown attached to his kid.”

Out of the corner of her eye she watches as Rhodey shoots confused looks between her and Peter. “When did you- I thought you two only met briefly, if at all, before the airport battle? Did I miss something?”

Natasha only gave a chuckle. “Well, I may have spied on him the night before we went and fought Cap. Old habits die hard, you know?”, she starts anxiously picking at her cuticles, “Tony talked about some kind of ‘reinforcement’ but wouldn’t tell us anything about it. So I did some digging and… yeah.”

She wipes away a few stray tears from her lashes. “I knew he was only a teen before we even started the fight. I’d hid in the air vents in his room. He found out I was there with his freaky spider-sensey thing in less than ten seconds. And well..,” she giggles wetly and looks to the ceiling, “he invited me out of the vent and said, ‘Ms. Romanoff ma’am, I have a few extra cookies left if you want some?’ He-”, she pauses, “God Rhodey, he's too good for this world. Tony did so good with him…”

She sneaks a glance at the war veteran and watches as a single tear gently rolls down his face. “Yeah, I- I always knew Tones would be a good dad…”

Both sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments as Natasha leans her head on Rhodey’s shoulder. Suddenly, the ex-assassin gives a faint laugh. “I guess I’ve finally gotten one of those infamous ‘Rhodey talks’. Tony would- Tony owes me ten bucks when we get them back.”

Rhodey smiles and gently laughs. “He sure as hell does.”

Both avengers fall back into the comfortable silence as they watch their youngest team member rest. Carefully watching as his chest rises and falls, and as he occasionally mumbles about casserole or some other random object. Though, it only lasts for a few minutes.

Footsteps echo loudly outside the room, heeled boots clicking loudly as someone walks down the corridor. Natasha tenses. Sitting up, she shifts her hand to the hidden gun on her thigh, but Rhodey taps her knee, giving her ‘the look’. So she releases it with a huff.

Wanda suddenly struts through the open door, both her hands and eyes glowing a faint red. The witch takes a quick glance at Peter, but remains stoic. Natasha blinks once, then twice to make sure she’s seeing clearly, then shoots to her feet. Wanda’s pissed, and that’s never good for anyone. But, before Natasha can even start to mentally form her question, Wanda speaks.

“Разбуди его.”  
(Wake him up.)

Natasha slowly moves her hand closer to her gun. A protective urge that she hadn’t known she had quickly spreads throughout her being.

“Он отдыхает”, Natasha says cooly.  
(He’s resting.)

Wanda only clenches her fists tighter. Small tendrils of red magic spread out from her hands.

“Он может помочь нам найти Таноса! Приведи его или я возьму его.”  
(He can help us find Thanos! Bring him or I’ll take him.)

Natasha gives her a curt nod, then the Scarlet Witch turns and leaves without another word. Natasha swivels her head back to Rhodey with a newfound rage building in her core. Though, the man looks nothing but confused.

“Nat, I don’t speak Russian. Care to explain why she was so pissed?”

Natasha scowls as she flicks the safety of her gun back on. “Peter might be able to help us find Thanos. They want us to bring him to the common room for… questioning.”

______________________________________ 

“Ребенок паук? Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Peter turns to her, his doe-eyes revealing his every emotion. It’s clear as day that he’s scared out of his mind, who wouldn’t be? The poor kid had already been through enough crap to send him to therapy before Thanos, now he could (officially) add “orphaned” to the ever-growing list. But of course, they hadn’t told him that yet. Rhodey decided it was Happy’s place more than theirs.

Though, somehow without falter, the broken boy smiles.

“I’ll be okay Nat. As long as you, Happy, and Mr. Colonel Rhodes are there to have my back I’ll be fine.”

Natasha nods and silently continues to push the boy’s wheelchair down the hallway with one hand as she drags his IV pole with the other. She softly smiles as the curly-headed teen starts tapping his feet on the footrests to the beat of some popular song. 

She listens and even hums along to his little foot concert, until they reach the doors. Peter instantly stops tapping his foot, shoulders tensing. Natasha moves in front of the wheelchair and puts a hand on Peter’s knee. Her eyes soften as she takes in just how afraid he is. “You’re the best of us kiddo. They’ll see that. Everyone in there is a good person but, unfortunately, you know what loss can do to people, how it affects them. Rhodey, Happy, and I will be right behind you the whole time.”

Peter nods solemnly. She pats his knee then moves back behind the chair to lightly push the door open. Peter grips the side of the chair and takes a deep breath. As she reaches for his IV pole, Natasha nearly chokes up when she hears him whisper to himself, “Just have to act like Tony.”

She quickly shakes away her shock and wheels him through the door while pointedly avoiding the prying eyes of her teammates. She stops him next to Rhodey and Happy, who are both leaning against the main holotable. Quickly, she adjusts his pole and then steps back, only slightly glaring at the others across from her.

The room falls into an awkward silence. Nobody says anything until Sam sighs. “Kid, look, I’m sorry this is so soon after… everything. You only came in, what, a few hours ago? Probably have a lot of things you’d rather not think about right now.”

Peter hunches in on himself subconsciously. Natasha moves to touch him, but Rhodey grabs her hand. “Let him do this”, he whispers. Reluctantly, she rests back against the table behind her.

Sam slightly nods towards Peter. “I get it kid, I do. But we need to know what went down in space. Your blue friend isn’t one for talking so... you’re all we’ve got.”

Natasha watches Peter with a tight frown. He tenses, but only slightly. He’s trying to hide his fear and pain with confidence. Natasha’s heart nearly skips a beat. “Just like Tony”.

“I- I shouldn’t have even been up there.”, he starts, turning his attention to his now fidgeting hands. “I was trying to stop the squidward guy from taking-”

“Wait- wait hold on,” Happy sputters as he moves away from the table, ”you mean Ebony Maw? As in Thanos’ right hand man?”

Peter sheepishly turns to him and shrugs. “Mr. Stark told me to get the wizard, so I got the wizard.”

Natasha feels a small swell of pride and faintly smiles as he turns back to face the remaining Avengers. “But yeah anyways, the wizard got beamed up into this donut spaceship thing and then I got waaaay too high in the atmosphere and Mr. Stark saved me with a new suit. I passed out and it was so so scary but then I felt this thing on my back and I was like, “What the hell?” And that suit was just- it was so amazingly cool and smelled like a new car-”

Happy, who is still standing next to the kid, taps his shoulder. “Peter, you’re rambling kiddo.”

The boy pauses and Natasha swears his face had turned every color of red imaginable. “Oh, oh yeah I guess I’m just kinda nervous...”

Happy reassuringly rubs his arm and then moves away again. With a deep breath, Peter continues. “We eventually freed the wizard, who’s name was really Dr. Strange. We kinda lost control of the ship and apparently crash landed on Than-ass’s home planet.” A few of the Avengers, namely Bucky and Rocket, chuckle. “We met The Guardians of The Galaxy, who were really nice but also tried to kill me. Thanos showed up and so did Nebula but she didn’t hurt anybody other than Thanos cause she’s cool. Then there was a huge battle and Thanos threw a freaking moon at Mr. Stark. We had this plan and we almost got the gauntlet off of Thanos but Mr. Peter Quill found out Thanos killed his girlfriend, who was Nebula’s sister, for the soul stone. So he attacked and things started getting really really bad and- ”

“Peter,” Natasha says calmly, “deep breaths.”

The boy pauses again, then inhales deeply. He counts about 3 seconds before letting it out, then prepares to continue his story. Before he can begin, Rocket shoots up from his seat on a spare holotable. “Hold up kid, are you saying Thanos… he killed Gamora?” Peter nods to the alien racoon solemnly, watching as his face falls and any spark of hope left in him disappears. “I’m really sorry.” Peter, whispers. But Rocket barely acknowledges the apology as he sits back into his spot, so Peter continues.

“The.. uh.. the battle went on for a while after that and Mr. Stark faced Thanos one on one. He got stabbed and it was bad, like… really bad. I was- I was so scared. For a while we just focused on helping Mr. Stark not bleed out and then we realized that purple-panini face yeeted off-planet to go to Earth. We were all going to head back to Earth but… but then… um..”

Peter’s breaths quickly speed up and his shoulders begin shaking. “The bug lady disappeared... and then Drax and- and Mr. Quill… and then Mr. Stark he- he fell into my-”, he chokes out a sob, “hefellintomyarmsandhegotalldustyandthen-”

Natasha moves in front of the boy, brushing off any attempt to stop her, and quickly pulls him into a hug. “It’s okay Peter, you don’t have to talk about it.”

Sobs begin to wrack the young avenger’s body as he squeezes Natasha back. Her jacket slowly grows damp as Peter buries his face into her back, but she doesn’t mind. She would hug the spiderling for eternity if she could.

She doesn’t need super-hearing to identify the scoff from behind her. “No position? No coordinates? Nothing?!”

As his sobbing increases Nat gently pulls away from him, entwining her hand with his shaking one. She gives him a smile and stands, turning to the others in the room, namely the Scarlet Witch. “I think that’s enough for today. If you all don’t mind, we’re going to take Peter back to his room to rest.”

Natasha turns to Rhodey and Happy. Both men nod, Rhodey moves to push the wheelchair while Happy grabs the IV pole. She gives Peter another reassuring squeeze before they leave, Happy replacing her hand with his own. She waits until they're long gone before she turns back to the others. The ex-assassin locks eyes with Wanda and within three steps she’s face to face with the young redhead.

“If you ever pull anything like that again I will see to it that you live in the Raft indefinitely.”

Sam jumps from his seat to get between the two women. But before he can grab Natasha, Bucky grabs him, shaking his head before pulling his friend back to his seat. “Don’t.”, the Winter Soldier warns, “they can handle this on their own.”

Natasha glares down at the younger girl. Wanda’s first reaction is to freeze, but she quickly regains her confidence. “I will do it again if needed. He must know something! Anything! He is just hiding-”

Nat cuts her off. “No, he isn’t ‘hiding’ anything Wanda. He’s a beyond traumatized 16 year old who’s now an orphan, again. So listen to me when I say,” she leans even closer to the younger girl’s face, “if you ever even consider asking him about this again, you will die a slow and painful death.”

Wanda opens her mouth to speak but quickly shuts it. She breaks Natasha’s stare to focus on the ground. Eyes growing faintly red, but disappearing as quick as it comes. The younger girl lets out a deep sigh, right before her shoulders begin to shake. “Прости меня... прости меня, прости меня. Я скучаю по ним очень сильно.”  
(Forgive me… forgive me forgive me. I miss them so much.)

Natasha instantly drops her facade, face softening as she touches the girl’s shoulder. “Маленькая ведьма…”, she pulls Wanda into a strong embrace, “иди сюда. Я понимаю ты боль. Но ты не можешь вынести это на него.”  
(Little Witch… come here. I understand your pain. But you can’t take it out on him.)

Wanda sinks into the embrace as tears begin to steadily flow down her face. She remains silent, just taking in the comforting presence before she pulls back. Wanda meets Natasha’s eyes and gives her a nod. “I’m sorry.”

Nat rubs the girl’s arm. “It’s alright. Why don’t you go rest Маленькая ведьма?”

Wanda nods and quickly makes her way out of the room. Natasha watches the girl leave before she, turns back to the others in the room, smiling as Sam’s jaw drops. He looks from the door to his friend.

“How in the hell did you do that?”

Natasha holds her finger to her lips with a playful smile. “Shhhh, can’t reveal all my secrets.”

Sam just shakes his head with a laugh. “Whatever, I don’t even wanna know. Oh and Nat I uh.. I wanted to ask, have you checked on Cli-”.

“Hey nimrods!”

Rocket pops up from behind a holotable with a small screwdriver in hand. He lifts his goggles off his face with a smile. Something about the look in his eyes ignites a spark of hope in Natasha. Rocket clicks a button on the bottom of the monitor, the image of a large orange and yellow planet taking form.

“I found Thanos.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long and I’m so so sorry but life obviously got crazy lately. I will be getting more chapters up soon and hopefully have an actual schedule ready! Anyways love you all and stay safe❤️


End file.
